consuming baby

I swear. Did becoming parents always seems so daunting? We've made several trips to Babies R Us and sort of finally decided on a crib and changing table. That's all I managed. Ian wanted to pick out a stroller and high chair and pack n play and... You get the drift.

Choices. There are too many choices. Which baby carrier should I get? A snugli? A baby bjorn? A sling of some kind? And what about those brands? So we recognize the Jeep brand strollers. And I have a small acquaintance with Carter's. But what of the rest? Who to trust? What is good? What is not? And where are Beatrix Potter themed baby stuff? Not that I'm a fan of the themed nursery. We won't do that.

When I talked to Scout and shared the news with her via telephone,  she gave me a few bits of advice. Like: Buy the most expensive breast pump because they express milk faster than the cheap ones. Or, you'll be expressing at each breast for thirty minutes each and as soon as you're done, it's time to feed baby again. But then, maybe she said that I could rent one from Specialty Hospital instead.

And money will be tight while I'm away from work. The State/University doesn't have paid maternity leave. I must use all my sick and annual leave, which is paid, before I ease over into the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA). Frankly, having a baby and being out for work for three months can financially devastate a family. We're saving as we go along, so that maybe our nest egg will sustain us December through February. Who has paid maternity? I'd really like to work for them. I've begged Ian to move to Norway or Sweden, or even Canada, for years, but he's very negative about leaving the USA.

She touted the video monitors, too, rather than the typical audio monitors. She cited one friend who uses her video monitor to decide whether to go to her baby when she's self-soothing. It saves her a great deal of time and effort. And Scout talked about how after her brother was born her mother awoke one night to his screaming. Scout had climbed into his bed and was pinching him and pulling his hair. A video monitor could be helping when there are malicious sibs in the house.

Then last night Ian told me how his friend Richard and wife Melissa battled over their boy's feeding schedule. Tricky Dick, as I call him, works for the railroad like Ian and so his schedule is erratic. But when he's home, he gets Noah to sleep through the night, or at least with just one feeding. Whereas Melissa feeds Noah on demand whenever he makes the slightest whimper. Noah is also 2. I probably won't breastfeed our child for longer than 6-9 months, if I can make it that long, just because I've heard latching-on, and bloody, crusty nipple stories that make me think the process may not be so rosy.

Scout recommend a co-sleeping bed. She said that is so much easier than getting up out of bed and gathering baby from a bassinet or crib. That's what I wanted originally, but Ian's greatest concern is that our dogs, who sleep on our bed, will be too close to baby. Scout thinks we can easily train the dogs. I told Ian the dogs could easily sleep in another room and not with us. So I may return to my original thought. I think what matters most to me is what will ease my exhaustion and fatigue, no?

Really, the decisions are overwhelming. Which bottle? Which bottle sterilization kit? There are far too many products. Making the "right" decision is stressing me out already and it makes me want to not make any decisions at all. But then there's the added horror of signing up for baby registries. Ugh. Are baby wipe warmers really necessary? Some of these things seem like just another needless product to waste money on. Sure, I want to pamper my child, but whatever happened to the bracing reality of a cold wipe? Perhaps my thoughts will change one it arrives. Ian and I are mostly pragmatic, school-of-hard-knocks types and so we roll our eyes at what we consider frou-frou baby stuff.

Comments

[AJ]

With all the new technological stuff they have available I can see how it's so overwhelming. Just do a little at a time. You have some time to make many decisions.

BTW, I sent you a long novel of an email yesterday with some suggestions. I hope it will help!

[AJ]

I forgot to tell you: Happy Mothers Day!

[Monica]

Bekka, I just had to throw in my two cents here! LOL I have watched my friends and cousins over the past 10 years go through having kids and I'm with you on the school-of -hard-knocks! Seriously, your hands will warm up the baby wipe more than you think before it touches baby's bottom. My friend bought the warmer and it turns the wipes brown!!!!

My cousin just had her second child and instead of using the older (same sex) siblings things again, she had a yard sale, sold everything, and bought all new. That wouldn't have been so bad if the things had actually been worn, but most of it still had the tags on them!

Another co-worker, said that for the first few months her first child could sleep in a drawer from their dresser.

I'm sure you get the point, there are always going to be extremes but just sit back and enjoy this time. Don't buy into the commercialism of having a baby. I'm very practical, so I tend to lean towards how long will an item last as well as how much it will cost. There are lots of reviews about different baby products. Maybe you should check out Consumer Reports to see what they say.

Hope this helps and that you are having a great day! :D

[ani]

i agree with Monica, above. we ended up with three strollers and barely used one. i believe retailers are trying to prey on first-time mothers who aren't sure what is needed. most of the stuff is just that, stuff.

if you are breastfeeding, a good pump is important if you are planning to continue once you go back to work. i used a medela pump, and it was perfect. and don't let the breastfeeding horror stories scare you...it's only tough for the first few days until you and the little one get it all figured out. after that, easy peasy, no troubles.

[apple cyder]

I won't get too into the baby gear advice, but email me if you have specific questions. We got lots of stuff from craigslist b/c baby stuff doesn't get used for long and is generally in nice condition 2nd hand. One tip I learned is that saved me a lot of $ was that sometimes breastpumps are covered by health insurance. I'll send you details if you'd like re: how I got a really nice one for zip.

[elizabeth]

Scout's 100% right about buying the best breast pump or renting one - those midline pumps are crap and HURT! Don't go there. I personally think wipe warmers are over the top - sometimes you'll want your baby to stay awake and a cold wipe goes a long way towards achieving that (like when he/she's nursing and has fallen asleep but YOU'RE only half done and will be lopsided unless baby wakes up and finishes nursing)!

Whatever you do, don't stress about the choices. They're overwhelming, to be sure. Think about all the things our parents and great-grandparents didn't have, and their kids turned out just fine. Love is the best thing you can have, and give.