first baby gate

Yesterday (31 March) we bought our first baby thing, a gate. Mostly to keep the dogs in our bedroom and keep the air flowing in and out of the bedroom. Too bad our home wasn't outfitted with Dutch doors. And we should have bought a gate a long time ago. But at least at this point we know it'll get lots of good use.

We also looked at baby beds, pack and plays, high chairs, baby futons, all that stuff. There's too much to decide about, too many consumer choices to make, though my Mom, who calls me daily and calls me mommy or mama, wants to outfit our nursery. Ian did a bit of comparison shopping on Baby Einstein things. The thing you put the baby in so it can move upright along the floor? And it has tons of gizmos at baby's hand-level? It was the same price at Target as at Babies R Us.

I told Ian that what was good enough for us is good enough for our baby. My fears are that babies are overstimulated with all that gadgetry on their high chairs and dangling from their bassinets and all that. Is that right? I have so much to learn. Please give me your thoughts and experiences in these matters because I certainly can benefit from them. I told Ian that children need to learn to self-sooth and deal with boredom and cultivate their imaginations, that many toys were unessential. But am I wrong?

My immune system is compromised so I can carry this baby. That means that whatever resistance I had to dander and dust and pollen and all that other stuff is out the window. So we're outfitting the house with air purifiers. I visited my primary care physician for a new inhaler because my allergist is so overbooked that he cannot see me until June. Naturally I'll be a high-risk patient given my age and my asthma. I don't look forward to multiple medical interventions and am preparing for the worst, yet hoping for the best.

Anyway, it's really weird to be writing about the baby and not really posting this for at least another month. But catching y'all up might be too weird.

Also bought some maternity clothes at Target. Then today I ordered a few things from Macy's and Bloomingdale's like nursing bras and camisoles and other stuff. I looked at Gap maternity at three or four different kinds of jeans, but didn't know which belly version I'd like the best.  Are those belly bands helpful at all? Like the free-standing thing you wear under your clothes to support your pregnant belly?

I asked Ian what if we don't like our baby. Not now, but later, when s/he grows up. He said we could sell it to the gypsies but then what would we tell our parents? "My baby was abducted by aliens." But then I remember all those Celtic stores about changeling babies. I also asked him what he thought our baby's interests would be. It a whole new world. For sure.

And sleep? How I yearn for a solid night's sleep. I'm up every 2 or 3 hours to pee. And I'm not sleeping. And I can't take Ambien. Oh horrors. And a nap during the day would be perfect if only Roxy would let me sleep.

My mom was stunned that we're having a baby. Ten years of marriage and me a career woman and all. She never thought she'd have a biological grandchild, though she has three step-grandchildren. She's so perfect and wonderful with them that I'd hate for her own blood grandchild to miss out on the delight of having her for a grandmother. When we told her, she thought we were lying to her, just to see what she'd do or say. She was mostly quiet. And then she called my step-dad to come downstairs to share the news with him. He's a semi-retired OB-GYN who stopped delivering babies in the 1980s, so he was thrilled with the news and so excited to experience our pregnancy vicariously.

Then Ian's parents were completely shocked as well when we told them. They have time shares in November and Ian asked which they were going to the week of Thanksgiving. And he said that we'd be birthing a baby. His mom asked, "Whose?" And I pointed to myself. She squealed about it, but Ian's father was sort of drowsy and didn't seem excited. Nonetheless, they, too, were surprised. They thought we'd only be parents to dogs.

But we wanted to keep it secret because we didn't want to get anyone's hopes up unnecessarily should we be infertile. Naturally, nobody knew. Oh, there were one or two people who spotted pre-natal vitamins in our home who I couldn't lie to. And when I wasn't pregnant right away this fall, several of Ian's co-workers got together to write him a note offering their services, since they were already fathers. That's just the kind of tight-knit group railroaders are. I kept them in mind, as potential back ups, but honestly felt that if we couldn't do it naturally, that it wasn't meant to be.

Comments

[JC]

So many things to think about and purchase!

[Astoria]

There's a great book, very soft and calm and meditative, called "Trees Make the Best Mobiles" -- its not a "parenting" book, which I can't stand anyway, its just a few essays on having a baby around and basically not needing stuff and not needing all the answers. Very nice read. Very unusual kind of book to find. You might like it.

[amanda]

I'm not a mother, but my sister-in-law is pregnant, and she said that the belly bands are wonderful. :)

[ani]

my advice (here we go!) is to go easy on buying stuff. everyone says 'you definitely need this (gadget)' but i suggest keeping it simple. to start, you'll need some diapers, some clothes and little blankies, a car seat and a place for the little one to sleep. that's about it!

i remember liking gap maternity clothing. i didn't like anything about my middle, so a belly band was never a question.

[Alicia]

I am so happy for you guys! Congrats! I lived vicariously through a good friends pregnancy and was pretty much her significant other (father sucks at life) so I will try to offer any helpful advice that I can. Congrats! Yay!

[del]

I can only give you my $.02, but I agree that today's kids simply have too.much.stuff. They DO need to entertain themselves sometimes instead of expecting Mom & Dad to be entertainment units. Unfortunately, I find I'm in the minority (we've been doing giftless birthday parties the past few years & I love not getting 25 more things that the kids just don't need!).

I never used one of those belly bands; I think it's a matter of personal need. You may need one, you may not. Your OB should be able to advise you there.

[Debbie]

It's so wonderful to read your excitement in your posts. Loved the parents reactions.

Personally, I'd go with Target or any consignment shop clothes you can wear. You are going to get more advice than you really want. Mine? Go with your gut. I know you will be a great Mom.

[Rebecca]

Where have I been? I missed all these blogs! Congratulations! How very exciting. Another of my friend's just found out she is pregnant, and from other people she has talked to, it has taken them between 3-6 months to get pregnant after going off of birth control. I am excited for you and look forward to reading about your experiences.