issues of girth

How can you go from size 12 jeans to size 16 jeans in three months by only gaining four pounds? Must be the strange manner in which my body expands for this baby. So yeah, I've always had body image issues, and thought I'd mostly gotten over them. But now, every time I pass a mirror or try to pull together an outfit for work, I cringe and moan and am just unsatisfied with my appearance. It's terribly frumpy and lumpy.

And, of course I'm always noticing other pregnant women wherever I go. Which reminds me, a year or so ago we took a day trip to Gatlinburg, Tn. and I swear, 1 out of 8 women tourists there were preggers, too. Really something weird about how pregnant women flock there. Must be the funnel cakes , taffy, donuts, and foot long Fannie Farkel corn dogs. Fudge, too.

Anyway, so I'm noticing all these obviously pregnant women wherever I go--the doctor's office is a given--and a few days ago I pointed out a woman to Ian and said "Does she look pregnant to you?" Neither of us could tell. She might have just been an apple. It made me feel bad, like other people may point to me and ask, "Is she just fat, or is she pregnant?"

I still have a bit of a waist. I don't want anything on it though. So I'm either wearing my skirts and pants below by breasts or low on the hips, and not all my clothes can accommodate such vast ranges. Once that disappears, the waist, that is, I think I'll be okay. That way, I'll definitely appear pregnant and not like, like Jenny said last night on the phone, "Like you've eaten too many cookies." I challenged her and said, "Nope, like I'd eaten too many pints of Ben & Jerry." Everyone knows I don't like cookies.

So a little bit at a time I'm cleaning out our computer/sewing room to make way for baby. I'm finding all these darling patterns, sewing patterns, that I never made, as well as all the corresponding fabric I bought, and it's making me sick. Really sick. All those cute dresses and skirts and I can't make them now.

not specifically maternity patterns, but could be adapted

To counteract those negative feelings, I stopped by two fabric stores yesterday and perused maternity patterns. Don't do it. I beg you. The selection is miserable. Really. Rarely did I find anything bordering on cute. Surprisingly, Simplicity boasted the greatest number of maternity pattern, almost 6 pages, I think. I ended up buying several patterns that I thought I could modify to suit my expanding girth, somehow. Luckily for me, the style in patterns, and at stores this summer, is the empire waist, which totally goes with being in my state. Totally lucked out on that one. Let's hope it sticks, at least through the fall when I might score some long-sleeved things to take me through Thanksgiving, which, last night my BIL said would totally be ruined by my giving birth on or around that holiday. Yeah, he's a real doll, that one.

So I found a Burda maternity pattern I bought and will try. Except that the dress is way shorter than what I'm comfortable wearing; no above the knee business for me. Won't be too difficult to lengthen it a good six inches. And saw all those adorable Oliver S patterns (featured in the latest Home Companion) and so wanted to buy them all, especially the dresses, but since I don't know what I'm having, and don't want to know (have I mentioned that bit yet?), it seems pointless to buy them.

Then, I'm also wondering exactly how smart it is to make anything for this pregnant body. After reading Morgan's experience with her Amy Butler lounge pants that don't fit because she's 40 weeks pregnant, I suspect that toiling on my sewing machine on clothing for myself may be for naught.

Here's hoping that a lot of my regular clothes can take me through a few more months. The slim, fitted look was a momentary lapse cause I lost 20 pounds or so. I still have my comfy sack-like loose dresses and pants and skirts, so maybe they'll do.

One other thing: I feel strangely liberated from all the clothing catalogs I get in the mail. I almost don't want to look through them. Invariably I do, because I' m afraid I might miss something that could work for me. Mostly I'm tempted to throw them out completely without browsing their pages. Makes going through the mail less time consuming. Might at well cancel my subscriptions to Vogue and Marie Clare, too. What's the use?

Oh, wait. I read them for the articles.

Comments

[Monica]

Ok, first off CONGRATS!! It's so exciting to hear all about your preggers adventures, really.

Second, I love the first group of patterns! They all would be really cute, but not scream Maternity clothes! I noticed that everything this year seemed to be going to the empire waist designs. Maybe it's because most of the women in Hollywood are preggers too.

Third, you can smack the BIL for me too! Ugh, some guys!

[jen]

i am very excited for you, despite your body image woes. from what i've seen, most pregnant women go through that. it sucks that such a natural and beautiful part of life can be such a downer for the person who experiences it most first hand... but maybe some cute outfits will make you feel better. so don't hold off!