bekka

second time around placemats

Once I finish up napkins for my BRTS swap and the buttons I'm making for the fabric button swap, I can rest a wee bit and gather my strength for a few other swaps I'm doing this season. This time with the placemats I chose to do reversible ones without the contrast front or the ribbon/bias trimming. Am much happier with how they turned out.

Hope to have a quick time with the napkins. Read the instructions for making them, and it sounded simple. But we'll see how I manage.

P.S. If you're seeing things, especially various drafts of this post, appear and disappear in your RSS feeder, my apologies. Typepad goes through spells when it won't load my photos. I change the file name and sometimes it works, but today? No go. To accomplish my post, I go about it a roundabout way: I write the post and include the photos with Windows Live Writer, then have to manually change the formatting of the photos once it's been published correctly in typepad. It's a pain in the ass, really. But what can you do?

placemat snafu

Thought I'd get a head start on making placemats and napkins for the BTRS swap I'm doing. Bought fabric last week and got to it on Saturday night. After cutting out my fabric I realized I didn't have enough to make the placemats. That's my first complaint about BTRS, the instructions don't tell you how much fabric you need to complete the project. I went ahead anyway, found a different fabric in my stash and thought I'd make these for a friend who is new to homemaking.

But once they were done, I was so disappointed in them, that I decided to keep them for myself and use them at home, where only the select few invited to dine with us might catch a glimpse of my failure as a sewer, as a crafty sort of woman. The second thing I didn't like per Karol's instructions, was basting the contrast piece to the front. When I did my basting stitch, the fabric pulled, almost ruffled, so I had to constantly straighten it out. So I did that on the first one or two and decided not to do it on the others. Sort of big mistake. Because somehow I didn't sew my ribbon as close to the edge of the contrast piece on the unbasted ones and that fabric pulled away, from underneath, the ribbon. Tacky. Ugly. Poorly done.

What else? Oh, I hated the way the ribbon looked. My mitered edges are passable. But somehow I thought there'd be more of a contrast between fabrics. I thought more of my stripes would show along the placemat's edge. Nope.

Despite not being a huge yellow fan, I absolutely loved this yellow flowered fabric. I wish I had more. Wish I hadn't wasted it on these sucky placemats. The other thing to consider, is that the stripes from the front show through the lighter yellow fabric, which was not an issue with the original avocado green fabric I chose to accompany the blue, white, and grey stripes.

This afternoon, after work, I'm making another trip to search for fabric for these placemats. It's turning out to be a bit of a bust, really. First, my partner only likes lime green and blue. Not normally a problem, but she describes her kitchen/dining area as modern: concrete counter tops and stainless steel. Maybe it's my problem with interpreting what modern means. It means no floral, no pattern other than geometric. Sadly, that doesn't match anything in my fabric stash.

Karol mentions, in the box at the bottom of the project's instructions, that you may wish to forgo the contrast top. And I shall, on this next set, that I hope to whip up tonight. Something positive that I can say about my experience is that the project was quick. I finished four placemats in perhaps 2-3 hours? And Karol's technique is simple and effective, and so I imagine I'll use her process again when I'm not making placemats for this swap.

clearing out wips & spreading knitting virus

Getting through next week will be a miracle. We're leaving for Florida on the 28th. I'm envious of those bloggers who spend their time away from work at exotic locales like Scotland, Cape Breton, and all points West Coast. Just seems like there's no place all that exciting in the southeast.

Florida. Again. Ho hum. But really, other than the price of gasoline, it'll be an affordable trip. And honestly, I enjoy any traveling we do; there's always something new to explore. We're staying at Daytona Beach Shores, just south of DB, with Ian's parents, who we invited along. It is their time share, after all, but we truly enjoy their company.

I look forward to getting away, taking in sand and surf, swimming a bit, knitting a bit, reading a lot, and playing cards with the ILs. Oh, and possibly sleeping late and taking random naps throughout the day. Probably won't do our usual exploration of lighthouses. Doubt I can make it up and down one safely with my expanding girth and swollen ankles and feet. Ian kidded me the other night about staying up so late. He asked if I was priming myself for staying up longer to accommodate those lengthy bouts of game playing with his parents. Mostly, I've been reading mysteries late into the night, way past my preggy-enforced bedtime of 10 o'clock. Not sleeping so well anyway.

Really gonna try to knit some this trip. Looked through my Ravelry queue to figure out what to take and what to finish up so I can then move on to the more baby-oriented items for my own dear little one-to-be. I'll finish this new cardi, for sure, Mick's Placket neck sweater, this carrying bag, and the Clementine shawlette. That may do me.

Scoped out wireless options in Daytona and it looks like Panera, Starbucks, and B&N. Eh. Will strive to be a good blogger and keep the content coming. There is a yarn store nearby in Ormond Beach, Threads of Time. Went there last time was in the area and bought a few skeins. But wasn't overwhelmed. Anymore, it seems like it takes a lot to whelm me when it comes to yarn store. Must be jaded. Sigh. Used to be I'd appreciate anything. But my trip to Hobby Lobby the other day left me wondering why people love those fuzzy novelty yarns. I'll always choose simple, standard yarns.

Last night I taught Rebekah to knit. She took to it like a horse does carrots. Real natural like. I left the needles and ball of yarn with her, told her she could make a coaster and I'd teach her to bind off next Thursday. And she evinced curiosity for how someone ever decided that using two sticks and some yarn in this manner would result in a piece of cloth. Completely a thought I've had on many occasions. I mentioned books about knitting history she could read and something about seamen and net repair, but that was all I knew. Looks like evidence of knitting may have occurred in the 11th century, but wouldn't it extend back to cavewomen time?  Jim encouraged Laura and I to meet with Traci and several of the young women who work at his farm on a regular basis to share our love of knitting, sewing, quilting, and craft. Besides my knitting bag I brought pizza, a drink, and pie. Didn't leave with any of it. Pretty gratifying.

I knitted a few rounds on the Placket neck sweater, but didn't want to do too much since I can't remember what size I'm making, whether I've lost a stitch marker, and exactly how much more to knit lengthwise before changing instructions. And, I got Laura started on knitting socks on two circular needles. When she bought the yarn and needles from our LYSO, LYSO looked sort of incredulous when Laura told her I was teaching her to make socks. Laura thought it was not so much that LYSO doubted my skill level and teaching abilities, but maybe thought Laura wasn't quite advanced for that. And Laura bought the Susan Bates circular needles. LYSO said that she'd be back for the pricier Addis for her next pair of socks. Those SB needles were trickier to use.

The yarn didn't glide from the tube to the needles smoothly. Had to shove several stitches along to where they needed to be. But I have a few pairs of Susan Bates myself. Before I knew how to knit I bought two or three sets of them. Don't use them much, but have in a pinch, and they're okay, just not as smooth and sexy as Addis. Actually, two of my current projects I'm knitting on bamboo circulars, so see, old knitters devoted to Addis can adapt and knit on bamboo after all!

She wanted to make man socks from Closely Knit, which I gave her for her birthday. She asked for sock yarn at LYSO, but didn't have her book/pattern with her. And so LYSO gave her sock yarn, but to follow the man socks pattern, she really needed a worsted weight yarn. I started her on knitting a gauge swatch and she grumped about that. Don't we all, in the beginning? It's such a standard part of my knitting anymore that I don't begrudge its necessity. Determined her gauge and then after a few quick calculations, I told her to cast on 80 stitches and then we began. Fettig's Man socks are ribbed, and Laura didn't understand that part, so I told her to just knit in the round completely, that she didn't have to make them ribbed. Totally think that she finds the concept of knitting in the round especially groovy. It's my preferred style of knitting.

Next Thursday will be the "official" first time our group meets. Rebekah already wants to make a quilt completely by hand. So Traci and I are bringing our quilting books so that Rebekah can decide which pattern to make. Laura promised to pick up some orange and white yarn for Rebekah because they thought she should knit an aluminum can coozie for her boyfriend's upcoming 21st birthday. Brian, Traci's fiance, watched us, almost hungrily, I might say, and I offered to teach him to knit, but he declined and said that his mom taught him to crochet when he was younger.

anxious mothers, just be

This is sort of a review of Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety. It's long. You may wish to scroll down and read the last two paragraphs.

Judith Warner responded to the vast differences between motherhood in France and in the United States in writing this book. French society and government provides innumerable amounts of support to families, including paid maternity leave, excellent day care, and consultants of every type for mother, or father, to turn to when at their last resort. Yet, they never reach a last resort because they are so completely buffered, quite in a pro-family bubble.

Warner returned stateside to Washington, DC and noticed several trends in motherhood. First, that mothers exhausted themselves by trying to be perfect and trying to raise the perfect child. And next, Warner noticed the divisiveness between mothers who work and mothers who stay at home, especially how working mothers are vilified by American media.

This was a different experience for Warner, a completely different culture of motherhood. Its pressures were immense. From breastfeeding for at least a year to enduring natural childbirth to attachment parenting, Warner found all these practices that we idealize in the US to be "cruelly insensitive to mothers' needs as adult women." Those few choices, if you will, prescribe a narrow path for American mothers to travel during their child's lifetime.

Our culture's emphasis on competition and performance get in the way of motherhood. Warner found that the pressure to succeed at breastfeeding or an intervention-free labor and delivery was oppressive and detrimental to the self-esteem of mothers. So basically she charts the reality of motherhood in America and found it lacking, found it on par with an indecent dogs' life.

To take this pulse of mothers in America Warner interviewed almost 150 heterosexual* women, but narrowed her scope to middle and upper class mothers because either she didn't have a ready pool of working-class mothers to interview, or perhaps she was inadequately prepared to communicate with working class mothers and emphasize with their particular plight. So yeah, I was disappointed about that, but gladdened that Warner at least admitted the scope of her study. Another point she made is that culturally, American's take their queues from the upper and middle classes; what they do trickles down to the rest of us and we decide to emulate their values and morals.

One thing Warner discovered is that the more that women strove for perfection in their roles, the more they suffered. She doesn't go into suffering so much, but basically she means suffering sleepless nights, permanent exhaustion, debilitating anxiety, and neutering their sexuality. But mothers who somehow step outside of this motherhood trap, who do not make their child/children the center of their lives evince greater peace of mind and sanity. In not pushing themselves or their children to be perfect, to be "winners," they were winning at a better quality of life.

Warner recommends parenting with reason and balance, which tend to fly out the window when faced with wanting the best for your child. She suggests following your intuition as a mother to fulfilling the needs of your child rather than relying upon experts for solutions to childrearing problems you face. Further, she advocates keeping as much fun in motherhood as possible. When mothers are convinced that "every decision we make, every detail we control, is incredibly important," over-invest themselves in their mothering roles.

An issue that resonated with me was when she described how mothers and families must provide it all for their children. Equipping our homes with playhouses, art studios, and myriad sources of fun and stimulation each day stretches budgets. But we feel as though we must do it all. It's that rugged American individualism that we've absorbed throughout our lives. We must do it all and be it all in and of ourselves.

Mothers must do it all more so today than ever given the government's unwillingness to help families. It's a combination of American self-reliance and our dissatisfaction with effecting change politically. Mothers are convinced government fails us. Americans are apathetic and don't believe it's possible to change policies or create new ones to aid families in need via the current political system. Thus, mothers, and families, circle the wagons and try to create a perfect, protective world and solve problems as they occur, within our unit. We must become "everything to our children that society refuses to be."

Warner places this problem of super motherhood, or the Motherhood Mystique, as she dubbed it, well within an historical context and likens today's over-invested, over-extended mothers to the same ones that Betty Friedan described in her classic The Feminine Mystique. Friedan's subjects were that post-war generation whose sphere was limited to home and hearth. They coped by medicating themselves with alcohol and Valium. Today's mothers cope with Prozac, or by medicating their children with Ritalin.

Further, Warner describes the way in which childrearing has evolved over time due to new research in the social sciences and early childhood development. Since environment has a greater affect on children than genetics, mothers must be devoted early educators and simulators of their offspring.

Warner breaks it down to this: "Children were not just born bright and successful, they taught; they could be made that way." Naturally, this created a lot more pressure and work on mothers to set their children up for brightness. Because no mother wants their child to be a loser, they "create the conditions that would allow their [child's] inner potential to be maximized." Charged with this responsibility, is it any wonder that mothers allow their children's lives to overtake their own?

But why has this generation of mothers, loosely defined by Warner earlier as Generation X, succumbed in such great numbers to the cult of perfect motherhood? Janet Jackson said it best:

Control, now I've got a lot

Control, now I'm all grown up

I'm in control, I'm in control

Warner cites the 1980s, when many Gen X mothers came of age, as a stew pot of trends about obsession and control: health food, dieting, and exercise. She says that feminism was affected by that decade too, that instead of being about a "redefinition of womanhood or reorganization of family life and society," that it became about issues of performance and control. 80s feminists were about controlling their bodies. Somehow, instead of being empowered by feminism, Gen X turned inward and used the tools of self-control, personal achievement, and self-perfection against ourselves. "Rather than becoming rebels or pioneers like our baby boomer predecessors, we became a generation of control freaks."

The process of motherhood teaches us that we have no control over our bodies, during labor and delivery, and our careers, after we're placed on the mommy track. And thus American mothers endeavor to control every aspect of their children's lives by being and doing for them to the extreme. This over-extension results in depression and anxiety, which then places an undue burden upon our children. "By making them the be-all-and-end-all of our lives, by breaking down the boundaries between ourselves and them so thoroughly, by giving them so much power within the family when they're very small, we risk overwhelming them psychologically and ill-preparing them, socially, for the world of other children and, eventually other adults."

And that was just Part One. Part Two is called The Motherhood Religion. Warner describes the sacrificial mother's evolution from the 1920s until today. Actually, Dr. Spock got it right in the 1960s, according to Warner, when he believed that parents should hold on to boundaries and establish rules of acceptable behavior and not be accepting of every ugly behavior your child produces.

Warner cites one of the biggest reasons why today's generation of mother's cling to the cult of perfect motherhood as the example their own mother's set. In the 1970s and 1980s most middle class women worked, or aspired to work outside the home. Those children missed the involvement of their mothers in bringing cupcakes to the classroom and going on field trips to the zoo with their classes. They want to do better for their children, because somehow, they felt shirked. They want to create an idealized childhood they never experienced for their children. Surely it's a generational division. Yet in the 1970s, "the majority opinion was that the key to maternal self-fulfillment was work outside the home." Warner credits today's trends in mothering as a form of "remothering" ourselves. "It's about compensating for the various forms of lack or want or need or loneliness that we remember from childhood."

Conversely, Warner deals with working mothers, who are described as selfish and their children as forsaken. That was the 1980s and 1990s. Warner talks about the economy changing and women being unable to break the glass ceiling, and eventually opting out of the rat race to be at home with their children all day, every day.

Part Three is Ourselves as Mothers in which Warner delves into the extent to which today's mothers micromanage their family's lives. It all stems from a generational meltdown in which many Gen X mothers struggled with anorexia nervosa as a means to control their lives. Control, Warner writes, became a way of dealing with life. She says it morphed into "a whole slew of maladies—various syndromes involving aches and pains and vapors and intolerances, which had in common the net effect of allowing those suffering from them to exercise a rather remarkable degree of control over their environment and those around them." Syndromes include: Chemical sensitivity, food allergies, and fibromyalgia.

Nearly at the end Warner focuses on wonderful husbands and what an oxymoron that turns out to be since in the next breath husbands are denigrated by their spouse. Then she mentions how policy change would be a boon to families, as far as making government policies and programs more supportive of their needs. Certainly she advocates a return to community and caring for one another and families helping each other out.

Whew. That was long. Dragged out longer than what I expected. I expected Perfect Madness to focus on what mothers were doing right and wrong, and didn't so much expect much analysis regarding how current trends evolved due to social, political, and economical forces. This book is great for introducing readers to the topic of motherhood and how it was, and is, idealized through the ages.

My impending motherhood has stirred my interest in reading about mothers, mothering, and childrearing in the USA. I'm seeking a "state of the art" briefing, so to speak. But it's not brief. My first immersion in reading about the politics of motherhood a few months ago with Opting In: Having a Child Without Losing Yourself  (an excellent book in it's own right and something I want to review here as well, only I wasn't too scrupulous about making notes in its pages though it inspired me to do so) reminded me of what I liked and disliked with all the social change/feminism/socialism books I devoured as a Women's Studies minor. Writers incense their readers by exposing societal inequalities within their books, but then have little to offer in their conclusions for what one person can do make a difference. Here and there in Perfect Madness, Warner advocates policy change, but doesn't reveal any five step plan. In the end, her advice capitulates back to the model of self-reliance that she says creates societal ills: She suggests mothers take a breather, free themselves from the chained minds and spirits and just be.

*I swear I read in this book that studies show that lesbian mothers' (because there are more to be studied since lesbians) approach to division of household labor and parenting is more equitable than that of heterosexual couples possibly because they are both female and can compromise easier than men. But, perhaps it was in Parenting, Inc. that I read this, because I cannot find anything about partners, lesbians, homosexuals, etc. in its index. I didn't make this up. At some point it really struck me that besides leaving out working class mothers, this book completely acts as though lesbian mothers don't exist and that makes me wonder if lesbian mothers feel the same pressure to be perfect mothers.

And why, if Warner is so careful to focus on upper and middle class trends and exclude working class mothers, did she not also mention in that same "exclusions" paragraph that she didn't speak to lesbian mothers? Additionally, I simply cannot recall her specifying whether she spoke to mothers who are any color other than white. DC is not homogeneous. While I agreed with Warner's thesis that this trend affects upper and middle class women, now I wonder about "other" trends in mothering that she didn't uncover because she focused so narrowly on one demographic, and here, she's convinced me that this is a nationwide trend. Doubts. I have my doubts.

warm fiber fuzzies

Last night I cast on for the February sweater from Elizabeth Zimmerman's Knitter's Almanac. Tried and tried to use the yarn I wanted, a variegated Wool in the Woods I had left over from a tank I knitted two years ago that I'll likely rip out, eventually. But no go.Tried needles from US3-US9 and couldn't get the 5 sts/inch that Liz suggested for the pattern. Am I being too familiar, calling her Liz?

Pulled out the Cotton Lux (Idena) I bought from LYS a week or so ago and tried it. Perfect, on US 5. It's not as overtly feminine as the first yarn I tried, but I'm happy with it. So happy that I called LYSO and asked if she had other colors. Only blue and pink. Yick. So, I may look for the Cotton Lux online, see what's available out there.

Went to my first meeting of the Overmountain Weaver's Guild this morning at Exchange Place in Kingsport, a neighboring city and hometown of the long-silent Bad Fortune Cookie. Arrived a few minutes late and had to sit in the front row. Yikes. But passing by all the other members, I saw something that delighted my eyes: Men and women knitting! That's right, I wasn't the only person who brought knitting and rubbed by needles together during the business meeting. The majority of members at the meeting were women, but there were 3 or 4 men, and 2 of them knitted. One knitted right next to me. Sigh, what a delight. Gave me the warm fuzzies.

Anyway, the guild members were lovely and welcoming and friendly. The officiating officer, since the president wasn't there, introduced me to those assembled as a new member. So I spieled into my story about all that fleece. The drum carder should be repaired by the August Boot Camp and I hope to have all my fleece washed and picked and ready for carding by that time. Boot Camp seems to be a monthly social/fibery gathering in which members socialize and weave, spin, knit, or engage in allied gentle arts.

There was show-and-tell (do children still do that in school?) after the more businessy essentials were covered. Lots of lovely rugs and belts skeins displayed by their proud creators/buyers. At one point I spied someone I knew. Laura, not the one I usually mention, but this Laura is a weaver who earned her BFA a year or two before I graduated. We were in the weaving department at the same time and were acquaintances then.  Several other people came to introduce themselves and welcome me. By and far people who love fiber are fine folk.

The presentation was too much for me. I should have left. We gathered in a darkened room and watched a DVD on color theory as applied to weaving. Most of the exercises and examples the woman demonstrated were ones I learned in my weaving classes 15 years ago. And I couldn't get comfortable in my padded folding chair, either. Can't really cross my legs anymore. Wonder why?

While in Kingsport I stopped at Hobby Lobby and bought fabric and button parts for two swaps I'm doing. Then couldn't resist a few variegated skeins of that washcloth yarn. Also got a few skeins of cotton in a nice plum that I've earmarked for a second February cardi if I take to this first one.

Also thinking about what to knit and enter in the Appalachian Fair. Got my AF guidebook, complete with application, in the mail earlier this week and that turned my thoughts to knitting specifically for show. Am thinking that those Saarjte's booties may be a winner. Might tug at some judges heartstrings to see something so precious among all that other...um...stuff. Wouldn't submit any that I've made in the past, but would create a new pair just for this. Just so it wouldn't seem so much like cheating!

she's super fleecy

Since I have access to a farm where there are sheep, suddenly I find myself with a wealth of fleece. Jim and his helpers sheared their sheep late last week. He mentioned something to me Saturday about there being 6 big bags of fleece in the back of Brian's (his caretaker and right hand man) truck. I was surprised that he wasn't using them for Little Dudes, because learning about wool and processing it is certainly within the purview of their mission. Purview is my favorite word this week. When someone tried to pass along work to me at the library I replied with "And there is no attached document so I can determine whether this is even my purview."

Back to fleece though. Six bags of fleece? Whoopie. And I don't even spin. So what to do with it? First thing was getting it. Arranged to borrow Mom's truck (they own 20 acres in the country and are always hauling equipment down to the "farm"), called Jim and told him that I'd be over Tuesday evening to pick up the bags. Then he called me back Monday night to say that now, there were only two and a half bags. Apparently the bags we're tied up well and several of his dogs at the farm got into the fleece and scattered it around or so damaged it that he decided to just dispose of it (ACK!). Oh, and I'm fully expecting to find some of Sunny's hair in one of the bags. Sunny is Jim's Australian Shepherd and each spring when they shear the sheep, they shear Sunny, too. This year her coat doesn't look as hacked up as last; Rebekah did a fine job. I mentioned to Jim that there was a whole movement afoot of working with dog hair--processing, spinning, and knitting it, and he sort of laughed in disbelief. Basically, I wanted him to know that finding Aussie hair intermingled with my fleece was no biggie.

Picked up the bags yesterday at lunchtime and Ian whisked them straight home. He could smell them. My nose is still stopped up, but regardless, the farm and animal smells don't disturb me at all. Then yesterday I scoured the web for instructions on processing my wool. Essentially all sites gave about the same steps in washing fleece, but I printed off directions at Joy of Handspinning.

Then I pulled out my bible, of sorts. Years ago, in art school, I took five or six weaving classes. There were also dyeing and possibly spinning classes I could have taken as well, but the fiber bug didn't bite me then and now, I just regret not taking advantage of all that was before me. Anyway, the book for my weaving class was the Rachel Brown classic The Weaving, Spinning, and Dyeing Book.Occasionally over the years I've referred to it when I was card weaving or thinking about learning to spin (must find that drop spindle, where is it?). Brown gives great instructions for every step of each of the topics she covers in her book. I was curious to read what she recommended about washing fleece. Essentially it was the same, except that she said that after you wash and soak and spin a few times, you should spritz your laid out and drying fleece with oil of some kind. Which is sort of weird since you went through the process of washing the fleece to rid of its lanolin.

The whole washing of fleece is anathema to me anyway. I spent a couple years working at an historic site where there were sheep. After they were sheared, we had mounds of fleece to work with. I can't recall it ever being washed. And one of the perks of nitpicking was having the lanolin saturate your hands to soften them. of course, I think those sheep were kept a lot cleaner than Jim's, and historic site also hired professional shearers who likely skirted the fleece we worked with.

But Jim's fleece were dirty. I bought lingerie bags and heavy duty gloves to start. Then I dug through the first bag and disposed of some of the really poopy parts, leaves, sticks, and other detritus. Despite wanting the lanolin, I just felt like this fleece would be more pleasant to work with in a cleaner state.

And I suspect that the fleece I got was all this off-white color, but I haven't opened the other two bags yet, despite that Jim has several brown sheep in his pastures. The white sheep are Jacob's Sheep, and I have no idea what the brown are, could they be the same? Anyway, so I am disappointed at not getting any brown fleece, but who can look a gift fleece like this in the mouth?

Did the first soak in hot water in the washing machine for 45 minutes as described in the book and the resource I found online. Then spun the water out. Removed my lingerie bags, filled the machine with another round of hot water and soaked a second 30 minutes. Repeated that but added 1/2 cup of white vinegar to let the fleece soak the last 30 minutes, then another spin, and them removal from lingerie bags to dry. I spread my somewhat cleaner fleece out atop a rug laid across an old window screen I had in the basement for everything to dry through the night. Didn't check on them this morning before leaving for work. And though the sun is out today, I'm somewhat hesitant to let the fleece dry in the sun because it can overdry in the sun. Plus, with the wackiness of our weather of late, there's not telling when a rogue thunderstorm may crop up and saturate my almost-dry fleece.

Last night I processed approximately 8-10 pounds of fleece, and that was essentially half the contents of one bag. I'm going low on my estimates because I haven't weighed the fleece and am really not sure that my ability to guesstimate weight is all that. Surely I have about 24-30 pounds of fleece that will take another 5 or 6 night's work to wash, or scour, as it's sometimes called.

Once I've got that done, I'll set to picking. That'll take a bit of time and likely be dirty, too. It's great for doing while sitting on a porch watching neighbors drive by, but I don't have that kind of porch. I'm looking into handcarders. I can likely buy a set of curved ones for around $70. Drum carders may be more efficient, but I don't have $300 or $400 to spend on this little diversion/endeavor.

The other thing I've thought about it dyeing the fleece. I've heard different things: that you can dye it before picking and carding it, or you can dye it after spinning it. Just don't know which I prefer, or if I prefer to dye at all.

stashaholic

It's not my fault that people throw yarn my way, really! Amy came to visit. I was so excited to finally meet her. We've been pen pals for several years and were slated to meet last year as she drove across the country from California to the east coast. But there was an accident and she ended up flying home and didn't make pitstops in Tennessee. Then she moved to Buenos Aires. It's not like I can easily visit her there. I learned a lot about Argentina during her visit. While you spend a bit to fly there, actually staying is cheap. It's the new hot destination. And the great thing is that besides a love of books, reading, and travel, Amy and I also have a love of yarn and knitting in common, too.

In Argentina yarn is sold by weight. So many grams equals the base price. Most skeins, Amy told me, aren't labeled. This skein that she brought for me has a label, but it's the shop's label and doesn't give any information about content, color, gauge, or care. It's merino wool though, and I love it. What a perfect skein. Sigh. I can't decide whether to make a scarf or a hat from it. Another interesting thing about knitting in Argentina, is that they don't use circular needles. Amy wanted to make an afghan and needed a lengthy set of circular needles, which they don't sell. If you wanted to knit something substantial, you knit it in sections and then seam those together. And, you can get a pair of metal knitting needles for $2.

Then I won Risa's contest, and wow, she sent me so many skeins of yarn, that I have no clue what I'll make from them. Starting at twelve o'clock and going clockwise, I have a skein of Wooly Boully sock yarn, two skeins of Wildfoote Luxury Sock yarn, two skeins of Rio de la Plata, a skein of Rowan Classic, and two skeins of Elsebeth Lavold Silky wool. Again, whatever will I do with those?

Besides that, I bought four skeins of something pale, an ecru, in a shiny cotton, on sale, from LYS, but I can't tell you who makes it. Thought I'd try that for the EZ February Cardi I want to make for my co-worker's August baby, a girl; it's her third, so she wants to know it's sex. Those skeins aren't that special, so no astonishing photos to go along with.

However, I was so taken with yarn lust when I saw Chriss's Primavera socks on Ravelry, that I had to have some of that Violet Green Supersock, no matter that it came from overseas. Since I'm suffering from a bad case of second sock syndrome, I rarely contemplate making socks anymore. And yet. The Primavera pattern is very tempting, and with two skeins of burnt orange, because ordering just one seemed silly it coming from overseas and all, I could conceivably knit up two pairs of Primaveras.

Must say that Violet Green was astonishingly quick about dispatching my yarn. I received it in less than a week. Amazing, really. I expected it to take a month, maybe? I've ordered yarn and books from the UK, books from France (amazon.fr), and a bag/purse from South Africa, and those all took some time to arrive in my mailbox.

The true irony was that I ordered a used copy of Elizabeth Zimmerman's Knitter's Almanac from Abebooks.com on the same day I ordered the sock yarn from Violet Green. I specifically chose a vendor who lived in Rock Hill, SC, essentially less than 200 miles from where I live, perhaps a three hour drive, and paid $3.99 in shipping for this book. Sock yarn beat KA by four or five days at least. And that $3.99 shipping for the book didn't pay for priority mail, no. It arrived via regular mail. Sigh.

rubber baby buggy bumpers

Pamela Paul calls it the anxiety of underspending. She's referring to the cold sweats that parents experience when they don't spend enough on their children. Like, maybe, as parents, we aren't providing our children enough opportunities to develop into the potential uberchild and eventual super-achieving teen/adult that they can and should be. Paul's book Parenting, Inc: How We Rare Sold on $800 Strollers, Fetal Education, Baby Sign Language, Sleeping Coaches, Toddler Couture, and Diaper Wipe Warmers--and What It Means for Our Children was quite interesting and addressed the reason for the anxiety I experience each time I enter a baby superstore.

Basically her book critiques the manufacturers of baby products and the marketing of their products to new parents. Marketing efforts prey upon our insecurities, as well as our need to give our children all the advantages that we can purchase. Then too, there's the keeping up with the Jones's aspect of buying bigger and better baby buggies, $35 onesies, and exclusive membership to baby country clubs.

Paul describes this new type of parenthood where "what we choose to register for comes to symbolize the type of parent we want to be and the way in which we want to raise our children." Of course, this ultimately backfires because children learn from parental observance that their identity is tied up in what they own, or what they buy, or what kind of style/taste they display from their consumer purchases, and that's ultimately rather sad and false. Somehow parents "throw out their healthy skepticism when it comes to shopping for their children because such decisions are deeply emotional," and Paul goes on to write that when we're wrapped up in nurturing our children, often logical thinking flies straight out the window. That's how come we end up with far too much stuff.

Why are parents so anxious? Paul writes that many new parents live far away from their families and thus have no regular and ready support system to turn to when baby won't latch on or sleep through the night. And most children of my generation (X, that is) were not breastfed because formula was pushed so heavily in the 1960s and 1970s. Not until 1982 did breastfeeding make a comeback. My mom won't be a resource for any breastfeeding issues I may have because she bottle-fed me formula. Should I experience problems, I'll need to hire a lactation consultant, which probably isn't a big deal and won't be a great expense, but still, I wish I could solely rely upon my mother's wisdom. And yet, I have several friends, as well as my SIL, who can advise me about dicey breastfeeding problems as they occur.

Apparently the pressure to have an early-achieving child is immense. From what I read of Paul's book though, it seems more geared toward urban parents. Getting their child into the "right" pre-school is key to baby getting into the "right" private school, ad infinitum. Since I live somewhere that there are few options, I'm not worried about whether my child will be accepted at a pretentious preschool, though I've long bemoaned the absence of a Montessori school (and possibly Waldorf, though it is not something that I have any familiarity with). And while I'm terribly skeptical of the current effectiveness of public schools, given the No Child Left Behind debacle, as a product of public schools, I have to say that I did okay, that Ian did okay, that we are both college graduates who can support ourselves, and thus public schools are where my child will grow and flourish. Ideally, I always hoped to homeschool. But the financial realities don't allow for that.

So there's a push for pre-natal education from the manufacturer's of baby products. Crazy, I know. And there's no research to support any claims that pre-natal education really works miracles. And there's a push for all children's play and activities to be educational, to be serving an objective. Parents push their children to read before they are ready, and learn their numbers and colors, too, all by age one, believe it or not. Because, apparently, it's a status thing to boast to the other mommies and daddies that your baby einstein is so far ahead of the others. All of this over-education robs children of their childhood and their time at play. Toys and play are supposed to be for fun, not to reach certain objectives by a certain month.

Much of of the under two or three years old's education, or edutainment, as Paul refers to it, comes via TV, or educational DVDs. Somehow popping a child in front of an "educational" DVD is preferable to popping baby in a playpen while parent showers or tends to dinner. The playpen option is what I was raised on. That's how my mom made time to do all that she needed, unhindered by me. But somehow playpens don't appeal to today's parents. They liken them to jail and cannot imagine any useful purpose to playpens. And so that explains the popularity of baby in front of educational DVD. I'll take the playpen, thanks. Our household currently doesn't revolve around the TV, and I may be exceptionally naive, but I don't expect for it ever to. Edutainment DVDs were originally marketed toward parents as a way for them to have a short break from baby. But now, they're marketed differently. Baby and parent are supposed to watch together, learn together, interact together. And most early childhood development experts say that it's ridiculous to learn about a flower from a TV set. That the logical thing to do is for baby and parent to explore those things together in real life.

Paul also suggests that new parents' anxiety stems from their lack of experience around babies and children. While that is not the case for me, a whole generation of women, and men, didn't babysit, or didn't spend time taking care of younger siblings. And so the inexperienced impulse is to over-comfort baby, to want to be our child's friend, which then leads to real issues with boundaries and authority. The over-comforting of baby goes hand in hand with wanting to create a perfect environment for our child, one in which she/he knows no pain, no germs, no failure.

And quite without having read Paul's book, I felt that wasn't the right path to take. Sure, parents wish to protect their children, but Ian and are are firm believers in the School of Hard Knocks. It worked for us. We both had working mothers who didn't coddle us. Neither of us were happy all the time, for various and different reasons. Paul writes that trying to shield children from discomfort shouldn't be a goal because it's as if we've forgotten the essence of human experience. If we solve all our children's problems for them, how will they learn to self-soothe? How will they learn to solve problems for themselves? It seems that the new parenting is actually creating a generation of completely lost children. And that's scary. Paul mentions "problem-solving deficit disorder" which describes this generation of children who enter school without critical thinking skills or even the desire to problem solve. Children are easily frustrated when asked to work on projects alone because they are so used to having their parent do it for them. We actually see a lot of this at my university with Millennials who want we librarians to essentially complete their assignments for them. Coincidentally, Paul quotes from another source that Millennials have near zero-resistence to consumerism.

Expectant mothers are targeted for a glut of marketing materials from the start. Last week I bought a maternity top and two of those belly bands at a maternity shop. I received a starter pack from the cashier which contained samples of lotions, etc., as well as a Playtex bottle; our first. When she ran my credit card through her register/computer, she asked for confirmation of my mailing address. Creepy that it was already in the system. Now I expect to receive tons of crap in the mail targeting me and my baby as future consumers of unnecessary products. Basically, it seems, that companies use a hard sell and try to frighten parents into buying their products, otherwise they are not being the best parents or giving their children the best foot forward. Companies also rely on brand loyalty and are expanding their products to grow alongside baby.

One of the positive aspects of this boon of baby products is that mompreneurs are starting businesses that fill a need. And I'm all for mom's going into business for themselves to make things easier for subsequent generations of parents. Often, they fill a need, a niche, that the mega-companies overlook. That's how Baby Einstein (sold to Disney for $25 million) and Giggle developed.

Surely, the thing I liked best about the book is that Paul affirmed my thoughts about the necessity of toys, DVD, animatronic devices, etc. for the development of baby's skills. There is no research proving that any of these thing help babies grow into smart beans. In fact, most media are detrimental to baby's development. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommended that children under two not be exposed to TV, computers, or video games.

Here are two reasons why TV and babies don't mix: "Studies show that high levels of television viewing before age three are associated with subsequent bullying, impaired reading and mathematical proficiency. A 2006 study in Pediatrics found that the more television children under five watch, the less likely they are to engage in curative play."

And then this: "Early exposure to TV and video games conditions the developing brain to expect very high, unnatural level of input. Real life by comparison becomes boring."

Perhaps its my Gen X skepticism at work, or something else, but honestly, what was good enough for me, is good enough for my children. In fact, Paul says that children get more out of playing with ordinary household (but safe!) objects than with all those expensive, expendable plastic gadgets with all their bells and whistles. So many parents are guilty about working too much or not spending enough time with their children that they buy buy buy. The average American child receives seventy new toys each year. How excessive is that? Companies rely upon parental feelings of guilt and manipulate parents into spending outrageous amounts on their children.

Yeah, I feel like I'll be one of those nazi parents. Don't let my child watch tv. Don't buy my child plastic toys. Don't over-protect my child from germs and falls and spills and such. And none of those cheesey singing animatronic holiday toys, either. I hope I won't be too unbearable. No sugar, either! Haven't even explored the issues around feeding baby.

In closing, I highly recommend this book. While Paul doesn't necessarily offer solutions to warding off the problems she describes, awareness of them is the first step. Librarian that I am, I found the lack of bibliography disappointing. But she mentions books throughout its pages, and if you note them as you read, you're all set. Paul does include several pages of notes documenting her sources, and that was reassuring. And by the way, the book was so well-written as well. Very easy to read.

Naturally I fed off the author's vibe because I agreed with her assessments of the burgeoning baby market. Every other paragraph I was "Right on!" after reading "Parents who discuss the content of traditional books while reading to their children promoted early literacy, while electronic books encourages a slightly coercive parent-child interaction and were not as effective. The researchers described parents and children reading electronic books together as a severely truncated experience.

Two of the areas Paul wrote about that I didn't address in this very lengthy post are the outsourcing of parenting and celebrity baby culture. Paul describes the plethora of services that baby and mom can take at upscale centers that include spa and cafe for parents and courses in which to enroll baby. Such centers seems as much an avenue for ending the isolation of new mothers as true educational opportunities for babies. Since the media focuses such extreme attention on celebrity babies, an entire luxury market opened up to serve them, thus $800 imported baby buggies and designer baby duds by Escada and Marc Jacobs.

Here's a list of books from which Paul drew many of her statements:

Anxious Parents: A History of Modern Childrearing in America

The Hurried Child: : Growing Up Too Fast, Too Soon

Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety

Born to Buy: The Commercialized Child and the New Consumer Culture

The Scientist in the Crib: What Early Learning Tells Us About the Mind

The Better Brain Book

What Kids Really Want Money Can't Buy: Tips For Parenting in a Commercial World

The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids

your summer reading recommendations

In a few weeks we'll vacation somewhere yet to be determined (Assateague, Va.; Nags Head, NC; Hilton Head Island, SC; Amelia Island, FL; or St. Augustine/Vilano Beach, FL--just cannot decide) and I like to take 5-7 books along to read, cause that's what I would do everyday, all day long, if I could. Basically, that's the only way I can tolerate sitting out in the sun, under an umbrella, for long periods of time. But maybe I'll nap all day instead, especially if nobody can help me out here.

Can you recommend good books for me to read? I'm thinking fiction, mostly. Love those coming of age stories, but will try almost anything. And am searching for good mysteries to read. Favorite mystery writers include Laura Lippman, Laurie King, Kate Atkinson, Scarlett Thomas, and others. Love historic settings and an emphasis on forensics. I used to read a lot of Janet Evanovich, especially loved Lulu, but then her plots were so formulaic that I couldn't take it anymore. Also love the zaniness of Karl Hiaasen, though I wouldn't characterize his books as mysteries.

Any help, please?

sucker for swaps

Can't recall the last swap I made. Sort of wrote them off for a while. Not so much bad experiences, but just grew tired of having lots of deadlines and keeping it all orderly and in the correct compartment in my mind. In the next 2 or 3 months I'm doing Doll Quilt Swap 4. I participated in round 2, I believe. And I keep coming across the most amazing quilts that participants make and send to their partners. Wowie. I want a piece of that action.

Then there's Kelly's Favorite Things Swap, where you choose at least three objects that you love, or just like, to send to your partner. What I like about this one is that it can be as much time and effort as I have at the moment, you know? Can be store-bought or handmade goodies.

And the one I'm super excited about is the Bend-the-rules-sewing swap. I missed Round one, which was the Pleated Beauty Bag from the eponymous book. But Round two is Place Mat & Napkin Set.

Mostly what I love about swaps is doing the detective work, especially if it's a secret swap. Blog-stalking and anonymous comments and getting to know my partners likes and dislikes. I'm ready for a bunch of that. Cause once baby comes in November, well, I may be out of the swapping loop for some time. And  the worst thing about baby's arrival is that it's smack dab in the middle of my favorite swap all year, the Holiday Ornament Swap. Sigh. What to do? Last year sign ups ended on 9 November and groups were assigned by 12 November, so maybe, possibly, I can make ornaments and send them off before my 20 November due date? Just don't know. Don't want to over-extend myself.